magnumficent.

a few days ago, a man came through my line at the grocery store. he bought two items: an eighteen pack of natty lite and a box of magnum condoms. magnums. that's right. for those of you who don't know, a "normal" condom can easily fit over your forearm. i hate to think of anyone who actually needs magnum condoms.

to make matters more hilarious, this guy was short (say 5'3" - almost 5" shorter than i am) and well, a little round. this combination left me in internal hysterics which promptly turned into external hysterics. as a cashier in a denim shirt and ill-fitting khaki pants, i have little to laugh at anyone about. but this whole scenario ran my memory back to my days as an intern at planned parenthood, where i worked with my friend christie. one relatively boring day (boring in the sense that little was going on and no one had found creepy plastic babies in the trashcans again), christie and i were in the stockroom. please imagine a 5' by 7' room chock-full of every type of paraphernalia related to contraceptives: condoms, dental dams, keychains that hold condoms, flavored lube, planned parenthood pens, brochures on using the female condom and female condoms themselves, all neatly arranged on wire shelves.

anyhow, christie and i were back there getting stuff together for a valentine's day function that vox was putting on when she looked at me and said that i should see how far i could stretch a condom. with little effort, i placed the condom over my elbow and we errupted in fits of laughter as we attempted even more ridiculous scenarious.

after all of this quickly ran through my head, i couldn't help but laugh at this customer as he slid his visa debit card through the terminal, confident in his purchase. i placed the condoms in a bag, handing them to him over the screen of my computer still chuckling to myself.